adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
