we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
