Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
