Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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