yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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