Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
