Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
