I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
