I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize