I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
