everyone is single if you try hard enough
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
