Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
