3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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