I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The air was thick with penises
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
