I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
