I'm going to jail i love you
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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