You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
