I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
