Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize