Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
