I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
