So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
