You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Randomize
