I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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