Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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