She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
