I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
