How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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