ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
they're like a gay fantastic four
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
