I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
