im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
