So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
