Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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