this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize