Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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