i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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