Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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