I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
