He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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