Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
