Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize