We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
