You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
