sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
