Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?

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(970): View more from Colorado

bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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(802): View more from Vermont

You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.

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(425): View more from Washington

so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?

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