Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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