3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
