yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
