btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
