you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
