Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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