Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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