I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
