I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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