awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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