But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
