We won't sleep together?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
