Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
where are my eyebrows?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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