Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize