So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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