I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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