those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
