I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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