would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
