Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
