Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
