i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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