Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
