just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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