I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
